Then there are the nights where you can soften the crying and ignore the source
Or let it out because then someone might hear and try to stop it.
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(via h-goldbach)
and then I start to think:
since I have no one to talk to
that means no one would miss me
Damn NHL, at least take us out to eat before you FUCK US!
This is not a bad thing.
This is a thing that makes me happy.
But what if it’s a thing that could lead to a worse thing
And that leads to something worse
Then it’s a bad thing.And does knowing its potential but continuing make me a bad person?
Should I stop now in fear of myself or enjoy the wonder and stop panicking?
This was a bad thing. This was flirting with a kid when I have a devoted, amazing boyfriend. Now he admits he has feelings for me and I feel awful. I am a bad person.
Maybe I shouldn’t blow this out of proportion. ”Even though I’m into you” could mean something else, maybe? I shouldn’t explode this into a means for major self-loathing. But I wish I heard something besides “it’s not your fault,” because it is.
I kept talking to him. I kept hanging out with him. I sent goddamn smiley-face texts. I constantly told him how great a person he was. I even said I missed him while I was gone.
It was an effort to build his self-esteem so he could succeed with other girls but I’d be lying if I said the extra attention didn’t boost my self-esteem also. I exploited him and betrayed Tim but neither guy realizes how wrong I am.
Someone just slap me in the face and tell me to stop it before it gets worse.
-
But still there’s a part of me that is so curious about how he feels and I don’t know why.
- Me: sigh it's gonna be a lonely boring walk to tim's
- Evil me: you should listen to your iPod
- Me: a young girl walking alone at night through the city with headphones in?! That's not safe!
- Evil me: you know what else isn't safe?
- Me: what
- Evil me: underage drinking
- Me: touche evil Jordan.
What am I doing with my life.
